Yesterday the General Convention approved liturgies for same-sex blessings. While same-sex blessings have been happening in plenty of dioceses as a "generous pastoral response" by certain Bishops, this is an official liturgy that has been created and authorized for this exact purpose.
So, of course, the usual predictable people freaked out.
Almost every Bishop who voted against the measure (and there were only about 40 or so, so it was pretty easy to read all those responses on Episcopal Cafe) mentioned something about not wanting to piss people off in their statements before the House. Almost all of them said something like, "We don't want to upset the rest of the Communion," or "We can't lose any more friends," or "Some of the other Christians will be mad at us."
You know, perhaps this is going to make me sound young and silly, but I've gotta say it: either marrying same-sex couples is the right thing to do, or it's not. It doesn't matter what other people think. Either it's right, or it's wrong. And the majority of the people in our Church (and perhaps even a number of the people who ended up voting against the blessings) know, deep down in their hearts, that's it's the right thing to do.
I'm struggling to find the part in the Gospels where Jesus says, "Well, this is the right thing to do, but let's not tell anyone else because it'll make them upset." Actually, Jesus was pretty good at pissing people off by doing the right thing.
Let's be more like Jesus, m'kay?
And of course, once the resolution passed, South Carolina got all blustery and left the convention. I guess I was raised differently; where I'm from, taking your ball and going home when other people don't do what you want them to do is childish and irresponsible. It's especially annoying to me when this happens because it seems to me that the majority of the Church actually wants to call these ceremonies marriages; we only used "blessings" as a concession to the anti-gay folks. There was give and take, and ultimately, about 75% of the church said "Yes, we want this." Sorry, but that's how being a member of an organization works. There were concessions, there was slow and deliberate movement, and still, just because they didn't get exactly what they wanted, they're going to go home and pout.
I think that's sad, and if I lived in that diocese, I'd be pretty embarrassed at how my representatives were acting.
And that reminds me of something Gene Robinson was saying when I saw him at convention. He was talking about how sad it made him that a few dioceses in the Episcopal Church had broken away when he was consecrated as the first openly gay Bishop. "The tragedy isn't that we disagree with each other," he told us. "The tragedy is when we leave the table."
If you leave the table, you're not hurting anyone but yourself. You're not silencing anyone's voice but your own. You're only making yourself look petulant. It makes sense when seven-year-olds don't realize this, but grown men and women? Bishops in Christ's holy and apostolic Church?
Now that's a tragedy.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
A Young Person's Report From General Convention
Late last week, Adam and I went over to Indianapolis to attend the General Convention of the Episcopal Church. (We only went to convention for a day, but the whole thing lasts about a week, and many people, especially the people who have to be there like the delegates and the Bishops, stay for the entire length of time.)
For those of you who aren't Episcopalians, here's a little explanation: every three years, the entire Episcopal Church gets together and decides stuff. We're not a democratic church, per se, because we still have a pretty hierarchical structure, but we do incorporate democratic principles into our governance. So every three years, the two Houses of the Church meet and discuss/debate/pass/reject changes to Church policy and structure. The House of Bishops is composed of all the Bishops in the Church, both current and retired, and is headed up by the Presiding Bishop (the official head of our Church). The House of Deputies is composed of parties of deputies from each diocese, and each diocese gets the same amount of deputies in the House. (In this way, it's quite different from, say, the US House of Representatives, in which representatives are allocated by population.) Some deputies are ordained; others are laypeople. I've observed that there's usually an equal number of each order represented.
So the deputies and the Bishops and anyone else who's interested all show up at the convention, and they consider drafted resolutions, and they write new resolutions, and they amend previous resolutions, and then they vote on them. Resolutions have to be passed by BOTH houses in exactly the same language in order for them to become Church policy. And pretty much anything can be debated and decided at convention-- from changing the Canons of the Church to reorganizing the structure of certain branches of Church governance to changing or emphasizing certain social priorities to budgeting and passing new economic policies. Also, during most legislative hearings, people are permitted to testify in favor or against the pending resolutions, and pretty much anyone can speak--experts, Bishops, priests, regular people in the pews, whomever. It's all messy and kind of frustrating, and that's pretty much how I think faith in action should be--all over the place and difficult and kind of a pain in the ass. Like, y'know, democracy.
Adam and I spent all of Friday at convention, and I was pretty much in heaven. Everyone we met kept saying, "Wow, you WANTED to come here? But this stuff is so boring and bureaucratic!" And I just kept thinking, well, yeah, that's why I like it. You're talking to the girl who did Model UN in both high school and college (even going on to the National Model UN in my junior year) and was a delegate to Girls' State and did mock Congress and pretty much gets a contact high from hearing people cite Robert's Rules of Order. I love this shit.
Anyways, we went to Eucharist in the morning, which was interesting and kind of weird, seeing as I don't think I've ever worshiped with two thousand people at once. I dunno how the megachurch folks can stand it! Communion takes forever with that many people. At least they used real bread, like they do at GTS and, y'know, every other church in the world except St. John's (*insert loud throat-clearing here*). And also, you will notice that there was none of that intinction nonsense going on, since again, ONLY ST. JOHN'S DOES THAT. :D
What was cool was that, since the Episcopal Church is worldwide and there were representatives from all the dioceses in the world, parts of each Eucharist every day were done in different languages. That day the included language was Hmong, which was cool to hear; the day before, I've been told, was Spanish. It's too bad we didn't come on the day they did French--I could have said the Lord's Prayer in French!
After Eucharist we sat in on a legislative session in the House of Deputies, which pretty much consisted of people arguing about whether or not the NEXT convention should be paperless, to which I say: that's a great idea, but maybe let's focus on this convention FIRST. ;) We got to see them all voting and stuff, which was cool, because they have a whole system for counting votes. First they just have everyone say "yes" or "no" aloud, and then if it's not a clear majority they make everyone hold up colored cards, green for yes and red for no. If it's not clear from that showing, either, then it's time for a vote tally, and everyone has to vote using an electronic keypad. Then the votes are tallied by machine and the percentages show up on the front screens. It's nifty!
Here's a picture of the "yes" vote:
Then we sat in on a House of Bishops meeting, but it was dreadfully dull since they were pretty much just talking to one another about how much they love each other.
And then we wandered around the exhibition hall for most of the rest of the day. We met lots of new friends and saw lots of old ones, including folks from GTS, the former curate of our home parish, and a friend of mine from high school (!). We got tons of cool buttons, and each of us bought a tee-shirt; Adam got one that says "Blessed Are The Peacemakers" and I got one that says "God is not a boy's name" from the EWC.
I've been pleased with the way the resolutions have gone so far--I was very glad to see that they passed a resolution prohibiting discrimination against transgendered clergy and laypersons, and I was equally glad to see that they refused to authorize The Message as an appropriate translation to be used in church. (Explanation: The Message is a paraphrase of the Bible, not an actual translation. While it's useful for Bible study or personal reflection or Sunday school/youth group lessons, I don't find paraphrase appropriate for actual services. We hear so many paraphrases of Biblical teachings already in our culture--most of them inaccurate-- that I think we should use Sunday services as an opportunity to confront people with as accurate a translation of the original Greek/Hebrew/Aramaic as we can manage to produce.) I'm encouraged by the selling of 815 (the church's main building in NYC) and the relocation of the central offices elsewhere, as well as with many of the other restructuring changes, although I'm skeptical of the Tea Party-esque ethos of many of those advocating restructuring.
I feel kind of torn about the presence of young people at the convention. I was both heartened to see that there were many, many young people there, and disheartened to note that almost none of them were there in an official capacity (as deputies, to deliver testimony, etc.) It seems to me that most of the young people who came just arrived on their own initiative--which is great, because it's nice to know that other people my age care that much about the Church, but also kind of sucks because it means the Church still isn't giving us any authority and still doesn't really care that much about involving us in governance.
I think the Church often displays the same attitude towards young people as it does towards poor people: it's eager to help them, to provide aid and comfort, to go out and come to them, but it's really very loathe to actually include them, to consider them a valid part and parcel of the Church, to consider them full members rather than just beneficiaries. Does that make sense?
Anyways, we had a great time, and I wish we could have stayed longer. Overall, General Convention made me feel very good about our denomination and the direction in which we're headed. And in light of the Presbyterians' contentious General Assembly last week in Pittsburgh, and in light of our own relatively drama-free meeting, it was nice not to be the "controversial" church group this year! :)
For those of you who aren't Episcopalians, here's a little explanation: every three years, the entire Episcopal Church gets together and decides stuff. We're not a democratic church, per se, because we still have a pretty hierarchical structure, but we do incorporate democratic principles into our governance. So every three years, the two Houses of the Church meet and discuss/debate/pass/reject changes to Church policy and structure. The House of Bishops is composed of all the Bishops in the Church, both current and retired, and is headed up by the Presiding Bishop (the official head of our Church). The House of Deputies is composed of parties of deputies from each diocese, and each diocese gets the same amount of deputies in the House. (In this way, it's quite different from, say, the US House of Representatives, in which representatives are allocated by population.) Some deputies are ordained; others are laypeople. I've observed that there's usually an equal number of each order represented.
So the deputies and the Bishops and anyone else who's interested all show up at the convention, and they consider drafted resolutions, and they write new resolutions, and they amend previous resolutions, and then they vote on them. Resolutions have to be passed by BOTH houses in exactly the same language in order for them to become Church policy. And pretty much anything can be debated and decided at convention-- from changing the Canons of the Church to reorganizing the structure of certain branches of Church governance to changing or emphasizing certain social priorities to budgeting and passing new economic policies. Also, during most legislative hearings, people are permitted to testify in favor or against the pending resolutions, and pretty much anyone can speak--experts, Bishops, priests, regular people in the pews, whomever. It's all messy and kind of frustrating, and that's pretty much how I think faith in action should be--all over the place and difficult and kind of a pain in the ass. Like, y'know, democracy.
Adam and I spent all of Friday at convention, and I was pretty much in heaven. Everyone we met kept saying, "Wow, you WANTED to come here? But this stuff is so boring and bureaucratic!" And I just kept thinking, well, yeah, that's why I like it. You're talking to the girl who did Model UN in both high school and college (even going on to the National Model UN in my junior year) and was a delegate to Girls' State and did mock Congress and pretty much gets a contact high from hearing people cite Robert's Rules of Order. I love this shit.
Anyways, we went to Eucharist in the morning, which was interesting and kind of weird, seeing as I don't think I've ever worshiped with two thousand people at once. I dunno how the megachurch folks can stand it! Communion takes forever with that many people. At least they used real bread, like they do at GTS and, y'know, every other church in the world except St. John's (*insert loud throat-clearing here*). And also, you will notice that there was none of that intinction nonsense going on, since again, ONLY ST. JOHN'S DOES THAT. :D
What was cool was that, since the Episcopal Church is worldwide and there were representatives from all the dioceses in the world, parts of each Eucharist every day were done in different languages. That day the included language was Hmong, which was cool to hear; the day before, I've been told, was Spanish. It's too bad we didn't come on the day they did French--I could have said the Lord's Prayer in French!
After Eucharist we sat in on a legislative session in the House of Deputies, which pretty much consisted of people arguing about whether or not the NEXT convention should be paperless, to which I say: that's a great idea, but maybe let's focus on this convention FIRST. ;) We got to see them all voting and stuff, which was cool, because they have a whole system for counting votes. First they just have everyone say "yes" or "no" aloud, and then if it's not a clear majority they make everyone hold up colored cards, green for yes and red for no. If it's not clear from that showing, either, then it's time for a vote tally, and everyone has to vote using an electronic keypad. Then the votes are tallied by machine and the percentages show up on the front screens. It's nifty!
Here's a picture of the "yes" vote:
And then we wandered around the exhibition hall for most of the rest of the day. We met lots of new friends and saw lots of old ones, including folks from GTS, the former curate of our home parish, and a friend of mine from high school (!). We got tons of cool buttons, and each of us bought a tee-shirt; Adam got one that says "Blessed Are The Peacemakers" and I got one that says "God is not a boy's name" from the EWC.
I've been pleased with the way the resolutions have gone so far--I was very glad to see that they passed a resolution prohibiting discrimination against transgendered clergy and laypersons, and I was equally glad to see that they refused to authorize The Message as an appropriate translation to be used in church. (Explanation: The Message is a paraphrase of the Bible, not an actual translation. While it's useful for Bible study or personal reflection or Sunday school/youth group lessons, I don't find paraphrase appropriate for actual services. We hear so many paraphrases of Biblical teachings already in our culture--most of them inaccurate-- that I think we should use Sunday services as an opportunity to confront people with as accurate a translation of the original Greek/Hebrew/Aramaic as we can manage to produce.) I'm encouraged by the selling of 815 (the church's main building in NYC) and the relocation of the central offices elsewhere, as well as with many of the other restructuring changes, although I'm skeptical of the Tea Party-esque ethos of many of those advocating restructuring.
I feel kind of torn about the presence of young people at the convention. I was both heartened to see that there were many, many young people there, and disheartened to note that almost none of them were there in an official capacity (as deputies, to deliver testimony, etc.) It seems to me that most of the young people who came just arrived on their own initiative--which is great, because it's nice to know that other people my age care that much about the Church, but also kind of sucks because it means the Church still isn't giving us any authority and still doesn't really care that much about involving us in governance.
I think the Church often displays the same attitude towards young people as it does towards poor people: it's eager to help them, to provide aid and comfort, to go out and come to them, but it's really very loathe to actually include them, to consider them a valid part and parcel of the Church, to consider them full members rather than just beneficiaries. Does that make sense?
Anyways, we had a great time, and I wish we could have stayed longer. Overall, General Convention made me feel very good about our denomination and the direction in which we're headed. And in light of the Presbyterians' contentious General Assembly last week in Pittsburgh, and in light of our own relatively drama-free meeting, it was nice not to be the "controversial" church group this year! :)
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
A Possibility
Adam's applying for a full-time youth ministry director position, complete with benefits.
I don't usually ask for this sort of thing in this context, but: prayers and good vibes and well-wishes would be appreciated. We need this.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
One Ring To Rule Them All
Over a year ago, I lost my wedding ring.
This was no ordinary ring, of course--it was a Kovalick family heirloom. My great-grandmother on my mom's side had worn it her whole life, and then had passed it down to my maternal grandmother, who had kept it in her drawer because her finger wasn't small enough to wear it. My mother and my aunt both had larger fingers, too, but finally I was the Cinderella who came along and fit it perfectly. It was platinum with seven small diamonds, and was pretty much priceless.
I was having my engagement ring cleaned that week, and I never liked to wear my wedding ring without my engagement ring on top of it, since the wedding ring was always a little looser and I was worried about it slipping off. So I put it on a silver chain and wore it around my neck.
And then one day the chain broke, and I didn't notice until it was too late.
I cried for a whole week. I refused to get out of bed unless I had to go to work. I hardly ate. I sobbed in the bathroom at work. And I never saw that ring again.
Finally I just bought a cheap silver ring from Etsy for about $25. I've been wearing it since then, and I love it, but it's not the same.
Then last fall my dad's mother died. She was pretty old (in her late 90s) and pretty depressed and not entirely sure who anyone was at that point. It was sad, but not unexpected.
This week my dad went to visit his dad in Colorado, and came back with a box of rings. Apparently my grandmother left her valuable rings to my sisters and I in her will, and since I'm the eldest, I got her wedding ring.
It's huge.
The ring is actually two rings fused together--my grandma's engagement ring and wedding ring, soldered into one. Between this ring and my engagement ring, I now have seven diamonds on my hand--five small ones and two big ones. The big diamond in the heirloom ring is at least a carat.
I am probably the only homeless unemployed person in the whole world to wear a crown-jewels-worth of diamonds on her left hand.
I haven't decided whether or not I'll wear this new ring all the time, or whether I'll keep my cheap Etsy ring for everyday and bring out the fancy one for special occasions. But no matter what I do, I'm so grateful to have this ring--it feels, somehow, like a second chance.
Thanks, Grandma Walker. I miss you.
This was no ordinary ring, of course--it was a Kovalick family heirloom. My great-grandmother on my mom's side had worn it her whole life, and then had passed it down to my maternal grandmother, who had kept it in her drawer because her finger wasn't small enough to wear it. My mother and my aunt both had larger fingers, too, but finally I was the Cinderella who came along and fit it perfectly. It was platinum with seven small diamonds, and was pretty much priceless.
I was having my engagement ring cleaned that week, and I never liked to wear my wedding ring without my engagement ring on top of it, since the wedding ring was always a little looser and I was worried about it slipping off. So I put it on a silver chain and wore it around my neck.
And then one day the chain broke, and I didn't notice until it was too late.
I cried for a whole week. I refused to get out of bed unless I had to go to work. I hardly ate. I sobbed in the bathroom at work. And I never saw that ring again.
Finally I just bought a cheap silver ring from Etsy for about $25. I've been wearing it since then, and I love it, but it's not the same.
Then last fall my dad's mother died. She was pretty old (in her late 90s) and pretty depressed and not entirely sure who anyone was at that point. It was sad, but not unexpected.
This week my dad went to visit his dad in Colorado, and came back with a box of rings. Apparently my grandmother left her valuable rings to my sisters and I in her will, and since I'm the eldest, I got her wedding ring.
It's huge.
I am probably the only homeless unemployed person in the whole world to wear a crown-jewels-worth of diamonds on her left hand.
I haven't decided whether or not I'll wear this new ring all the time, or whether I'll keep my cheap Etsy ring for everyday and bring out the fancy one for special occasions. But no matter what I do, I'm so grateful to have this ring--it feels, somehow, like a second chance.
Thanks, Grandma Walker. I miss you.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
We can haz a home!!
Adam and I received our housing offer from the University today, which is pretty exciting. Overall we're pretty pleased with it, although like everything else in the world, it's not perfect. It's a one-bedroom in the northern part of Hyde Park, and it'll cost us $844/month for almost 600 sq. ft.-- which might seem expensive, unless you consider than in NYC we were paying $1200/month for 350 sq. ft. Then it looks positively reasonable. :P
Pros:
-Location, location, location. It's in the safer part of HP (from what I'm told, anyway) and there are about a million bus stops only a block away. It's close to the Metra station, too, in case Adam wants to take that to work. It's not, like, right next to the Div. School or anything, but I kind of prefer that-- I like a good walk in the morning.
-ELEVATOR. Enough said. Also, the service elevator (which we'd use when moving in) is, quite literally, right next door to our place. Yesssssssss.
-We're on the 7th floor, which is the very top, so we can continue our trend of always living in the "penthouse." (In Austintown we lived on the top floor of a three-story building; in NYC we lived on the top floor of a four-story building.) We like living on the top floor because it's quieter and seems a little more private.
-There's bike storage space for Adam's bike.
-It's bigger than our old place-- not by a LOT, but by enough.
-The kitchen has actual counters! And we can both fit in it at the same time! OMFG!
-There's a parking lot. We don't have a car, but it's nice to know that if we did have a car, like in the future or whatever, we'd have a place to park it.
-Three closets. It's a lifetime record for us!
-The building is A-okay with animals.
-We'll have the largest one-bedroom in the whole building, AND a view of the river!
-The building is wired for AT&T internet, so we'll no longer have to use Evil Horrible Time Warner Cable Internet of Death.
Cons:
-No dishwasher. Um, boo.
-Electric isn't included...and the stove is electric. Double boo.
-The bathroom looks kinda weird. Here, look:
Doesn't that toilet sort of look like a repurposed urinal? Maybe? Also, I'm not crazy about a window in the shower right at boob-height.
-No painting the walls in this place. Lame.
-Also, all the other apartments in the building are either one-bedrooms, furnished studios, or furnished two-bedrooms meant to be shared between two students. This means that there won't be many older families and instead we'll have a lot of younger, single grad students. This isn't exactly a con, I guess, since we are younger grad students, but...I just was hoping for more families, since Adam and I aren't partiers and don't really want loud drunken interruptions in the middle of the night. But hey, I've heard that U of C is very non-party-oriented, and it's not like we'll be living with any undergrads, so maybe this is a non-issue.
-No dishwasher. Again. It's so annoying that I had to mention it one more time. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So there you have it: the new McCluskey-Walker abode. Hyde Park, here we come!
Pros:
-Location, location, location. It's in the safer part of HP (from what I'm told, anyway) and there are about a million bus stops only a block away. It's close to the Metra station, too, in case Adam wants to take that to work. It's not, like, right next to the Div. School or anything, but I kind of prefer that-- I like a good walk in the morning.
-ELEVATOR. Enough said. Also, the service elevator (which we'd use when moving in) is, quite literally, right next door to our place. Yesssssssss.
-We're on the 7th floor, which is the very top, so we can continue our trend of always living in the "penthouse." (In Austintown we lived on the top floor of a three-story building; in NYC we lived on the top floor of a four-story building.) We like living on the top floor because it's quieter and seems a little more private.
-There's bike storage space for Adam's bike.
-It's bigger than our old place-- not by a LOT, but by enough.
-The kitchen has actual counters! And we can both fit in it at the same time! OMFG!
-There's a parking lot. We don't have a car, but it's nice to know that if we did have a car, like in the future or whatever, we'd have a place to park it.
-Three closets. It's a lifetime record for us!
-The building is A-okay with animals.
-We'll have the largest one-bedroom in the whole building, AND a view of the river!
-The building is wired for AT&T internet, so we'll no longer have to use Evil Horrible Time Warner Cable Internet of Death.
Cons:
-No dishwasher. Um, boo.
-Electric isn't included...and the stove is electric. Double boo.
-The bathroom looks kinda weird. Here, look:
Doesn't that toilet sort of look like a repurposed urinal? Maybe? Also, I'm not crazy about a window in the shower right at boob-height.
-No painting the walls in this place. Lame.
-Also, all the other apartments in the building are either one-bedrooms, furnished studios, or furnished two-bedrooms meant to be shared between two students. This means that there won't be many older families and instead we'll have a lot of younger, single grad students. This isn't exactly a con, I guess, since we are younger grad students, but...I just was hoping for more families, since Adam and I aren't partiers and don't really want loud drunken interruptions in the middle of the night. But hey, I've heard that U of C is very non-party-oriented, and it's not like we'll be living with any undergrads, so maybe this is a non-issue.
-No dishwasher. Again. It's so annoying that I had to mention it one more time. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So there you have it: the new McCluskey-Walker abode. Hyde Park, here we come!
Monday, June 4, 2012
Long Time No See
It's been awhile! Adam and I had a great time at his graduation...and then a horrible time with moving, as usual. Gah. I hate packing, carrying, loading, transporting, and unloading all our crap. And the idea that we have to do it all again in August makes me faintly panicked at the moment.
But for now, all our stuff is safely away in a storage unit in Youngstown, and we're staying at our parents' places for the summer. Right now we're spending a lot of time at my parents' house, mostly because my allergies get worse out in the country where Alice and Jim live. This Thursday, though, I'm going to the allergist to get some allergy treatments started, so then we'll be able to spend more time with my in-laws.
Our schedule for the summer is looking busy! Here's what we're doing:
June 19: Adam goes up to Cleveland to meet with the Bishop
July 5-7: We're going to General Convention in Indianapolis!
July 19-Aug. 2: Vacationing in Florida (and visiting my grandma, and attending Adam's friend's ordination) with my mom and my middle sister
Aug. 15-18: Vacationing on Kelley's Island with my parents and both my sisters
Aug. 31: Moving Day!
Expect regular updates, especially about Convention. Obviously, I'll have a lot to say about that. ;)
Also, I'm a columnist this summer for Hipolitics, so check out my writing there!
But for now, all our stuff is safely away in a storage unit in Youngstown, and we're staying at our parents' places for the summer. Right now we're spending a lot of time at my parents' house, mostly because my allergies get worse out in the country where Alice and Jim live. This Thursday, though, I'm going to the allergist to get some allergy treatments started, so then we'll be able to spend more time with my in-laws.
Our schedule for the summer is looking busy! Here's what we're doing:
June 19: Adam goes up to Cleveland to meet with the Bishop
July 5-7: We're going to General Convention in Indianapolis!
July 19-Aug. 2: Vacationing in Florida (and visiting my grandma, and attending Adam's friend's ordination) with my mom and my middle sister
Aug. 15-18: Vacationing on Kelley's Island with my parents and both my sisters
Aug. 31: Moving Day!
Expect regular updates, especially about Convention. Obviously, I'll have a lot to say about that. ;)
Also, I'm a columnist this summer for Hipolitics, so check out my writing there!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
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